Since Joshua's birth Michael Hays has officially had strep throat 3 times and I have been through 3 different illnesses as well. In the same amount of time we've had some of our most difficult trials as parents. Our family shifting from 4 to 5 people has been unbalancing, and we're still struggling to get the train back on the tracks just right. Joshua is the most adorable baby I've ever seen (each baby is even more heart-melting than the last), but he has not been an "easy" baby by any means. I have to abstain from eating both dairy and gluten in order to keep his tummy settled because he is an allergic baby just like his daddy and sister. This issue has brought me literally to tears more than once! You better believed a sleep deprived momma will cry over some cheese.
Adah and Jonah have both had their share of adjustment issues regarding the new brother and new house. Jonah most of all has been slightly traumatized and we've dealt with behavior issues from him that we never dreamed would come our way. So from taking care of our house, which seems to be coming apart at the seems in certain moments, and nuturing our beautiful children, there is no time left. While in certain moments of exhaustion it feels like life is nothing but struggle, in other moments I have clarity to see that the job I am doing is of utmost improtance.
On a daily basis I sustain the life of my 3 month old. Now on a daily basis he smiles and laughs at me in thanks. Each day I feed, bathe, and clothe my other children as well as listen to them and work through whatever new issue the day brings for them. And each day they hug me and make me laugh in return. I've learned that when an issue comes my way and feels as though it will break me completely, it doesn't. I pick up the new skills needed to work through it, and I keep going because I know my children are worth it. Ultimately this season of seemingly endless struggles will change into a new season holding new things for our family, but until then I will hold onto the truth that what I am doing now matters. Nurturing our children and making a home for them is the most worthwhile job I can think of doing right now. This job won't always require every ounce of my attention and energy, but for now it does.
These are things that are helping me get through, moments of light in my day:
|the cutest Joshua pouty face ever|
|Jonah making up a hysterical fight between his action |
figure and Joshua's bouncy seat: cracked me up!! I always
tell him he should be a comic book or cartoon show writer.
|Adah came home from school and went straight to her room|
emerging 10 minutes later with this card for me. It says, "Dear
Mommy, I love you, you are special. To Mom from Adah."