Recently we unpacked our boxes of books, which had been stacked in the living room since our move. I found such a treasure in one of those boxes. When Jonah was a baby I kept a journal
(for like a couple months before I forgot about it) and I wrote to him about himself and our life together. He is my first baby and our story is unique.. Reading the journal brought that lifetime into the present so strongly, and it made me grateful again for the blessings God has given me and the trials he has carried me through. One particular entry is very touching, so much so that I've tried to read it outloud 3 times to Jonah and Michael Hays and I can't get through it without tears.
This was written on August 4, 2003. Jonah was 4 months and 1 week old. I was 21 years old.
So many things are new since my last entry. Last week your sputtering sound turned into a "B" sound. You started saying, "Bah..Bah.." You are also getting really steady when I stand you up. You are only 4 months old and you can already stand up on your own while holding onto something! The exersaucer has become your favorite toy because it allows you to sit and stand whenever you want. You are reaching out and grabbing the toys on it now too. Michael and I finally found a teething ring that you like. We accidentally left it at a friends house though. We took you there to celebrate her graduation from college. Everyone loved you and thought you were SO CUTE! You really are the cutest baby I have ever seen. A lot of people say that, not just me.
You are definitely developing preferences. You seem to like some people better than others. Don't misunderstand, you like everyone; you are very good with strangers. But there are some who can make you smile and laugh so easily. You love Michael the most. He is going to be a great daddy to you. Once he and mommy get married we can all be a happy family. God blessed us with a wonderful man Jonah. He gave us Michael because he loves us and knows exactly what we need. I hope you never feel sad that your biological father didn't choose to be in your life. You are so loved! God blessed you more than most babies. Everyone who comes in contact with you simply falls in love with you. This has been especially true for Michael. He has loved you from the first day you were born and he seems to love you more every day, the same way I do. Michael is our gift from God baby. He was sent to us in our time of need. God only gives perfect gifts. Just know that a God-ordained daddy is the best there is. I can't wait for the day that you can talk and call Michael and I "Mommy" and "Daddy." You are growing so fast. I know that day is just around the corner. I look forward to every moment with you...
With all my love, Mommy
Wow. So good to be reminded of this place that I was once in. Also of interest: this was written 3 months before I was actually proposed to.. how did I know we were going to get married?